MEAT PROXY: a human receives a cyan machine signal and pulls a physical switch, with an amber lower-back fault callout. YOUR API HAS BACK PAIN.

Artwork made with AI image tools from our own concepts and art direction. The machine was supervised; blame remains human.

Item
TS002
Designation
Meat Proxy
Mode
Signal

Meat Proxy

Colour
Size

Price and final sizes are still under interrogation. Nothing is for sale yet.

The proposition

The cloud has reviewed your qualifications and appointed you its hands.

Rabbit hole

What’s a meat proxy?

Congratulations, citizen. The machine has promoted you to limb. Meatspace is old hacker slang for the physical world: bodies, switches, parcels and all the damp, heavy matter that refuses to upload. A proxy acts on another party’s behalf. A meat proxy is what happens when that party is software and the authorised interface has knees.

Systems already hire people to bridge the humiliating gap between a flawless process diagram and reality. Approve this output. Move that package. Read this damaged label. Press the button the remote interface cannot reach. Human in the loop is the boardroom term. Remove the varnish and you are a peripheral that invoices monthly and occasionally develops opinions.

The shirt is an architecture diagram with one unreliable component highlighted: you. You believed the machine was your tool. The workflow examined the evidence and assigned itself an input device, a pair of legs and enough consciousness to feel underpaid. Please remain available while your role is automated around you.

Evidence: Meatspace, The Jargon File, What is a proxy server?, Cloudflare, What is human in the loop?, IBM

Further incidents

  1. Shirt artwork: a friendly rounded lowercase ‘ask me about’ arches above a coiled serpent in a yellow hazard triangle; ROKO'S BASILISK remains in distressed block lettering below.
    Item
    TS001
    Designation
    Ask Me About Roko’s Basilisk
    Mode
    Rabbit hole
  2. VIBECODER: a grinning coder in sunglasses lounges with his feet on the desk while robot arms work the monitors around him, coffee flying, a soft glow under his T-shirt and a skull in a top hat on the pen pot.
    Item
    TS003
    Designation
    Vibecoder
    Mode
    Signal
  3. MEATSPACE IS WHERE I KEEP MY STUFF: a filing cabinet stores keys, shoes, a mug and tangled cables. PERSISTENT STORAGE. TERRIBLE SEARCH.
    Item
    TS004
    Designation
    Meatspace Is Where I Keep My Stuff
  4. BIOLOGICAL BOOTSTRAP: an unimpressed person in a skeleton-print coverall is packaged inside an obsolete software sleeve. KEEP UNTIL SINGULARITY
    Item
    TS005
    Designation
    Biological Bootstrap
    Mode
    Rabbit hole
  5. OVERCLOCKED: a living person's open cranial casing exposes a cybernetic brain made of processors, heat sinks and cable bundles, with amber thermal callouts.
    Item
    TS006
    Designation
    Overclocked
    Mode
    Signal
  6. PAPERCLIP MAXIMALIST: a paperclip crown and wreath surround a globe unravelling into wire. The crest's integral ribbon reads ALL MATTER IS INVENTORY.
    Item
    TS007
    Designation
    Paperclip Maximalist
    Mode
    Rabbit hole
  7. LOCALLY OPTIMAL: a climber celebrates a small summit beside a far higher mountain, on cyan wireframe terrain below a striped synthwave sun. BEST IN IMMEDIATE VICINITY.
    Item
    TS008
    Designation
    Locally Optimal
    Mode
    Rabbit hole
  8. TECH DEBT COLLECTION AGENCY: a weary engineer with a TODO clipboard inspects a server cabinet spilling tangled cables. WE REPOSSESS YOUR WEEKEND.
    Item
    TS009
    Designation
    Tech Debt Collection Agency
    Mode
    Rabbit hole
  9. PROVE YOU ARE HUMAN: a nine-tile CAPTCHA fragments a person's face with a fingerprint, key and cycling memory. SELECT ALL SQUARES CONTAINING YOURSELF.
    Item
    TS010
    Designation
    Prove You Are Human
    Mode
    Rabbit hole
  10. HALT AND CATCH FIRE: a human profile with an exposed cybernetic brain and a flame-and-smoke mohawk, framed by the main title with no secondary line.
    Item
    TS011
    Designation
    Halt and Catch Fire
    Mode
    Rabbit hole
  11. p(doom): a beige instrument displays 37.42%, with a RECALCULATE button, crossed-out estimates and a SOURCE: /dev/urandom plate. RANDOM NUMBER. SERIOUS FACE.
    Item
    TS012
    Designation
    p(doom)
    Mode
    Rabbit hole